During COVID, when my son was home from school, I thought it would be a great time for him to learn how to play chess. I’m not much of a chess player myself, but I figured we were home, we needed things to do, and chess seemed like one of those classic skills a kid should learn. It was stressful! But so was teaching him reading, writing, and math. He had no interest in Mom being his teacher during the pandemic, and honestly, I couldn’t blame him.

Fast forward a few years, and my son suddenly got interested in chess because a friend of his was really good at it. That made him curious. So I bought him a chess set. Nothing fancy. Just a regular set he could carry around and use. And this time, instead of me trying to teach him, he basically taught himself.

Pretty soon, anytime it rained and his class couldn’t go outside for recess, he’d pull that chess set out of his backpack and get other students to play. I loved hearing about it because it was so simple. No big program. No major plan. Just a kid with a chessboard who wanted to play. Eventually, his teacher bought a few chess sets for the classroom because so many kids wanted to play.

That was my first lesson as a chess mom: sometimes kids don’t need us to turn their interest into a whole production. Sometimes they just need access, encouragement, and space to enjoy it and learn the way they’re comfortable learning.

And while this post is about chess, I’ve found the same three principles apply to a lot of childhood interests: access, encouragement, and space to learn in their own way.

Give Them Access

If your child has started showing interest in chess, you may be wondering what to do next. The good news is that you don’t have to do everything at once. You don’t have to be a chess expert. You don’t need to spend a ton of money. You just need to help them keep playing, keep learning, and keep enjoying it.

The first step doesn’t have to be lessons, apps, or a big plan. Sometimes it’s just a chess set your child can actually use. A basic board gives them a way to explore. It can sit on the kitchen table, travel in a backpack, or come out during rainy-day recess. The point isn’t to buy the perfect set. The point is to make chess available.

One fun idea is to put a magnetic chess board on your refrigerator. Add a small marker that says “White to move” or “Black to move,” and let the whole family play one slow game together. Each time someone opens the fridge, they can make a move for whichever side’s turn it is. The point is that it’s in your child’s face in a low-pressure way. They see it, touch it, think about it, and return to it throughout the day.

Access can also mean knowing where chess is happening around you. If you’re in the Roswell/East Cobb area, we go to Roswell Chess meetups, usually held on the first Saturday of the month. They are laidback, casual, and open to all levels. If you’re elsewhere in Georgia, there are lots of open clubs. Check out the Georgia Chess Association club list or the USCF club directory for more. I also like the Championship Chess newsletter because it puts ideas, camps, clubs, tournaments, and other chess opportunities for kids in one place. Coach Steve Schneider at Championship Chess has been a helpful resource for me as I’ve learned how to navigate the chess world as a parent, and you can email chess@championshipchess.net to join the newsletter.

The easier chess is to reach, the easier it is for kids to keep coming back to it.

Offer Encouragement Without Taking Over

Encouragement doesn’t mean an organized curriculum or giving all the answers. This is one of the hardest lessons for me as a parent. When our kids are struggling, we want to help. When they miss an obvious move, we want to point it out. When they’re learning something new, we want to make the path smoother. But sometimes, in trying to help, we accidentally take away the discovery.

I believe in a lot of the Montessori method, and Maria Montessori is often quoted as saying, “Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.” I think about that a lot with learning in general, and specifically with chess. In this case, the task isn’t just finding the best move. The task is learning how to think through the position, try an idea, make a mistake, and learn from what happens next. If we jump in too quickly with the “right” answer, they may win the position, but they miss the chance to practice the thing they’re actually capable of doing: figuring it out.

That doesn’t mean we ignore them. It means we encourage in a way that keeps the thinking with the child. Instead of saying, “Move your bishop there,” we can ask, “What pieces are under attack?” Instead of saying, “That move is wrong,” we can ask, “What do you think your opponent might do next?” Instead of turning every game into a lesson, we can say, “Tell me what you noticed.” After chess or soccer or anything, I often ask my kids what they thought went well or what could’ve gone better. Sometimes their own assessment is very revealing, and key lessons you never thought of might come up.

The goal shouldn’t be to create a strict chess curriculum at home. The goal should be to help your child stay curious, confident, and willing to try again. When kids are given room to think, they’re not just learning chess. They’re learning how to learn.

And if we’re lucky, they may discover something even better than a good move. They may discover a love of learning.

Make Space for Them to Enjoy It and Learn Their Way

Kids don’t all learn the same way, and they don’t all learn chess the same way. My son seemed to learn best by playing, watching other kids, and figuring things out as he went. Other kids may want a book, a video, an app, or a parent sitting beside them. The point isn’t to force one “right” way to learn. The point is to notice what keeps your child curious.

For a child who wants to explore independently, Lichess Learn is a simple, free place to start because it walks beginners through the basics step by step. Chess.com can be useful for lessons, puzzles, bots, and games, while ChessKid is built specifically with younger players in mind. For kids who learn by watching, YouTube can also help. GothamChess, from International Master Levy Rozman, is popular with kids who like humor and personality mixed in with chess, and his book How to Win at Chess is aimed at beginner and intermediate players.

That said, I’d treat YouTube and online chess the same way I treat most online spaces for kids: helpful, but not hands-off. Know what your child’s watching, check the tone of the videos, monitor comments and chat features, and set limits that fit your family.

Chess can also be surprisingly social. From the outside, chess can look quiet and serious. But for kids, it can be a way to connect. That rainy-day recess chess set wasn’t just a board. It was an invitation. It gave my son a way to gather other kids around him. It gave classmates a reason to try something new. It gave the teacher a signal that there was enough interest to add a few chess sets to the classroom. One kid playing chess can have a domino effect that opens the door for other kids.

That’s one of the things I love about chess. Kids can play across ages, personalities, and skill levels. A child who’s shy on the playground might feel more comfortable over a board. A child who likes teaching might enjoy showing another kid how the knight moves. A child who’s competitive might find a healthy challenge.

Most importantly, let your child set the pace. Some kids want to play every day. Others are curious for a season and then move on to something else. All of that’s okay. I’ve seen this in my own house. One child may discover chess through friends and start bringing a board everywhere. Another child may come to chess differently, or only when it feels fun and social and completely on her terms. That doesn’t mean the second child is doing it wrong. It just means the journey may look different.

As parents, it’s easy to get excited when our kids show interest in something meaningful. Chess has so many benefits. It can help with focus, patience, planning, problem-solving, resilience, and learning how to think before acting. But not every interest has to become a performance track. Your child doesn’t have to become serious right away or follow anyone else’s timeline.

And now, as my daughter starts to show her own interest in chess, I’m trying to remember that lesson. I don’t know yet where this new journey will take us. It already looks quite different from my son’s journey, and that’s okay. We’ll see where it goes. The goal isn’t to control the pace. The goal is to keep the door open.

Final Thought

Sometimes a child’s chess journey starts with a formal class or club. And sometimes it starts with a rainy recess, a backpack chess set, and a few classmates gathered around a board. Both count.

You don’t have to do everything at once. You don’t have to become a chess expert overnight. You don’t have to know exactly where the journey is going. Give them access. Offer encouragement. Make space for them to enjoy it and learn in the way that works for them.

And really, this isn’t just about chess. Whether your child is drawn to music, sports, art, coding, cooking, gardening, or something you never expected, the same three ideas still help: give them access, offer encouragement, and make space for them to learn in their own way.

Then see where it goes. I hope you enjoy the journey with your kids as much as I’m enjoying it with mine.